From Andy Borowitz in Newsweek: "Bush Kills Turkey, Pardons Tom DeLay
"I have political capital, and I intend to spend it—first by killing, and then by eating, this delectable turkey," Bush announced to the stunned onlookers, who watched as Biscuits was dragged away by two burly Secret Service agents.
Bush then said that he would use his traditional Thanksgiving pardon to free DeLay should he be indicted for political corruption charges in Texas, and then paraded the Texas congressman across the lawn to complete the festive holiday ceremony.
It would be funnier if it weren't so accurate.
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